Drama at the Lakeview Lunch

Rating :   ½ a Pride Flag

Well, diners, I can honestly say that my experiences thus far have been at least satisfactory… until now. Heading to the Lakeview Lunch, a gay-friendly and partially gay-staffed restaurant, I was anticipating a large, well-rounded breakfast like one I had enjoyed there before. Instead, on a busy Sunday morning, a large group of my friends and I were left at half-mast on all counts- food, service, and ambience- and the ordeal continued rolling downhill from there: drama, drama, drama.

Our party of six walked through the door, under a front sign that had seen better days, and into the first spacious room. A cute little dyke  ushered us to stools at the long bar, where we took a look at the menu. When a large booth became available, we figured we had lucked out and slid into torn leather seats along pastel walls, reminding ourselves that in Toronto, little edible gems are sometimes completely obscured by the hole-in-the-wall in which they are found.  With that positive attitude, we all picked a breakfast item and discussed the Hollywood movie posters and the large number of spacious booths lining the restaurant on either wall.  Not only did this seem like a Queer- and family-friendly atmosphere, but it was packed, which is usually a good sign on a Sunday morning.

We had such hopes, but after waiting no less than forty-eight minutes for our food, only two of us were served; then, ten minutes later, two more of us got our meals. When the rest came five minutes later, we were still minus two orders of toast (which one should be able to expect would come at the same time as one’s egg order), and it was clear there were major timing problems in the kitchen. To her credit, our waitress seemed to be running everywhere she went and seemed like the only staff member actually working. Another woman in a long purple skirt floated around the restaurant, seemingly blissfully unaware of the utter pandemonium of the place until the last half-hour of our meal when she actually began to carry food.

As for the offerings themselves, they range from soups, salads, and sandwiches with choice of bread (including Challah), to eggs, pancakes, and desserts. The choices seemed promising, but were in reality anything but. The Pancake Banana Split at $7.45 sounded creative but was stone cold, and the flavour did not really seem to work. Classic breakfast combos start at $4.95 and increase per egg, which is a useful idea. The eggs were standard, and the deep-fried slices of potato were a delicious novelty, but waiting for the toast and having to ask for it multiple times nullified the enjoyment. Also, the accompanying “side of beans” was quite sad: it was half liquid and came in a small plastic container the size you would get for soy sauce in a sushi take-away box. The pemeal and bacon was tasty but couldn’t make up for the larger disappointment of the experience.

The Toronto Omelet for $7.95 with mushrooms, tomatoes, peppers, spinach and cheese was reported to be nothing special. I decided to go for the Chicken Club with Avocado for $9.95. After the amazing Brie and Avocado sandwich at The Green Room on Bloor, I was hoping for some lovely half-moon wedges of buttery heaven; instead, I was presented with a huge plate of bread, standard bacon and tomato, slices of chicken, and an avocado spread scraped across the underside of the toast that dripped onto my plate. The sandwiches were covered in bland, tasteless fries, and for the money paid, I left the table feeling pretty unsatisfied.

To top off this irritating experience, my friend who had ordered the pancakes had the bottle of syrup stolen by the purple skirt, and it was not brought back until ten minutes after her meal was on the table. Soon after, purple-skirt snatched it away a second time, mumbling an explanation as we watched her run away with it in the other direction. Apparently, there was a syrup shortage at the Lakeview Lunch. The whole table looked at each other in amazement and broke up loudly at the utter ridiculousness of it all. On her travels back toward us, I looked at the frazzled lady questioningly, and she glared back, threw a fistful of cutlery into a metal container, and gave us all the dirtiest of looks as the high-pitched clanging of the knives, forks and spoons echoed loudly over the restaurant din.

The three of us who had caught that look shook our heads and decided to get out as fast as we could. While we were making our hasty exit, one of the group insisted I see the bathroom with my own eyes. The inside of the smaller room was dominated by a wall covered in haphazardly-affixed mirrors and cold tiles. The larger room housed the toilet that sat away from the wall, crooked and covered in rust. It looked like it was ready to split into pieces just standing there, so I am glad I didn’t need to use it. This bracing Sunday morning experience left us all rushing off to whatever we were late for, and left me thinking that my next adventure can only get better from here.

What: The Lakeview Lunch
Where: 1132 Dundas St. W.
Phone: 416.530.0871
Directions: Take Dundas streetcar to Ossington or take Ossington bus down.
Parking: Street parking available
Hours of Operation: Mon to Fri 11am –11pm and Sat to Sun 11am –12pm
Price: Approx $25 for two
Why: If you have not much cash and nowhere to go on a very quiet weekday afternoon.