I don’t care how good looking you are.
I don’t even care how good looking you think you are.
Your girlfriend looks better.
You realize this, of course; you must, even sub-consciously, notice that every time you two are at the mall, or at dinner, or the movies, or anywhere, really, where other people are—
–she gets more attention than you do.
Now, this might awaken your macho sense of competition—and don’t get me wrong—if trying to keep up to her means you iron your T-Shirts every now and then, I’m all for it.
If you take it too far, however—if you take it out on her—then maybe she should realize what you’ve secretly known all along.
She could do better.
It’s harsh, boys: this is the reality we live in. We’re all attention-whores, in our own little ways—but the amount of us that be-little, or degrade, or demean our women—just to make ourselves feel better—astronomical.
You boil every little comment, or indiscretion, or lie down to its essence: your bruised ego is the reason you fly off the handle.
So man up, and read on: here are some sure-fire ways to recognizing she’s the best (without admitting defeat.)
-Value her status in the relationship. She’s your partner, Douchebag; not something you bring with you to a restaurant when you’re hungry. Behind those perfectly shaped eyes sitting across the table are perfectly shaped opinions, values, and ideals.
Spend time gazing into them, instead of scanning the surrounding diners for other men (–with or without their tongues hanging out.)
-Value your status in the relationship. God, or evolution, or her parents created the vision that you happen to be dating; and, for thousands and thousands of years, women have been objects of desire, lust and beauty. For thousands and thousands of years, guys like you have chased them.
Not the other way around.
That’s just how it works, fellas.
-She’s with you for a reason. (This ties into valuing your status in the relationship.)
Don’t bother trying to figure out just what that reason is.
I can’t either.
-Understand that, while she looks good in a dress
–or a skirt—
–or jeans—
–or anything at all, really—
–she has just as many messed up insecurities and problems as you do. Maybe more. (It’s hard out there for the ladies.)
So if, by chance, she can walk into a room with her chin up, and her hips out, the confidence she exudes is to be commended, not questioned.
In closing, while I appreciate your need to be the one-and-only worshipper at her alter, I recommend you take the cat calls, sideways looks (and occasional whistles) in stride. The more…enlightened…of us even view these as compliments.
Remember, she is gorgeous, jackass—that’s why you asked her out in the first place.
So the next time you two are following the waiter to your table, enjoy the looks she’s (most definitely) getting.
Chances are, she’s going home with you tonight.
And that, boys, is as close to winning as we’re ever going to get.
