You love her, right?
Not just the way she makes you feel—
–or the things she does for you—
you genuinely, deeply, really-really love the girl.
You’re just not in love anymore, and that’s okay.
There are ways to let her go, without losing her forever—ways to give you both the space you probably need (–probably, because, if she’s a good girl, there’s a very good chance you’re making a mistake.)
-Tell her the truth.
I know, fellas—this seems weird; you’re wondering if it would be better to sugar-coat it.
Let’s face it; ‘I’m not in love with you anymore’ doesn’t sound good.
It hurts.
It should.
You’re leaving her—hard enough—the least you can do is be a man about it.
-Tell her the truth somewhere she feels comfortable.
You don’t want to sandbag her—taking her out to your favorite restaurant—your very
public favorite restaurant—not a good place to induce tears.
(It’s the equivalent of setting up the pins, and then throwing a strike.)
-Leave the door open.
No, that doesn’t mean keep her number in your phone for drunken-booty calls at 3 am.
She’s going to be vulnerable. Do NOT take advantage of this.
One day, soon, she’s not going to vulnerable, and she’ll remember what a dick you are.
-Give her time.
She needs to get over you (–it’s not as hard as you think–) which means girl-talk and nights out and nights in and nights without you.
You wanted this, stud-muffin.
Deal with it.
-After giving the appropriate amount of time, call her.
Again, this is not to ‘hook up.’ This is to see, genuinely, how she feels.
If you genuinely don’t care how she feels, then you skip this step.
(And again, she’s probably better off without you.)
-Take time for yourself.
Not binge drinking and playing fantasy football—those are things you were probably
lucky enough to do (on occasion) when you were with her. No, take time to evaluate
what you want out of a relationship, and just what it was about her that made you
believe it couldn’t work in the first place.
-Have a good cry.
It’s coming, fellas—sooner or later, amidst all of this, you’re going to believe (correctly or incorrectly) that you’ve thrown away the best thing that ever happened to you.
You probably have.
You’re an idiot.
Deep breath—we’re all idiots.
-Beg her to take you back.
And, next time, think before you open your mouth.
The grass is greener and all that.
After all;
You love her, right?
Not just the way she makes you feel—
–or the things she does for you—
you genuinely, deeply, really-really love the girl.
Good girls are hard to come by;
foolish boys, (unfortunately for us–)
–not so much.
