You spend more time in front of the mirror than your girl does.
It’s okay to admit it; she’s known for a while, and she still puts up with you. Really, it’s just one of your many shortcomings, right fellas? You leave dishes out, you’re chronically late (–or obsessively early–) you tend to miss days between showers.
And still, somehow, you’re able to delude yourself into believing you’re the man.
You believe—somewhere deep, deep down—somewhere you go in moments of crushing insecurity—that, should your lady leave, you’ll be able to find another.
Somebody as beautiful as her; someone as intelligent as her, someone (most importantly) as patient as her.
You’re wrong.
What we, as a group—and to a man—need to realize—is that if we’re fortunate enough to have a good woman in our lives, we’re plenty lucky enough.
We don’t need to be in the mirror as much as we are.
Hell, we don’t need to be in the bar as much as we are, either.
What we should be doing—as a group, and to a man—is thanking whatever-deity-we-choose-to-thank that we’re lucky enough to hold down a woman who is probably better off without us.
We should be spending more time cooking dinners.
We should be spending more time showing up for the dinners they cook for us.
We should be avoiding the bars, and the pick-up games, and the million-and-two other things we focus on, when we’re deluded into believing they’ll put up with us either way.
When we’re deluded into believing we’re the man, and that if she goes—finally having had enough of whatever it is we focus on instead of her—we’ll find someone comparable.
We won’t.
See, there really is nothing more comforting to us—as a group, and to a man—than knowing some girl is at home, waiting to hear about our triumphs and defeats.
Waiting to console us when we need it; to be there for us when we’re foolish enough to believe we don’t.
Waiting to be the source of the feeling that puts us in front of the mirror—the source that forces that smile on our faces.
The source that deludes us—as a group, and to a man—into believing we’re THE man.
Because, really, it’s all because—and all for—them anyways.
So the next time you’re in front of the mirror—or off to the bar, or the pickup game—reconsider the reason you’re so damned confident—
–and thank her for putting up with you in the first place.
