All our lives we’ve been taught to stay away from people who could hurt us. “Don’t talk to strangers,” we were told. “Don’t take someone back who cheats on you,” was also a piece of advice that’s been hard-wired into our heads.
But what if the latter instructions were ones that we didn’t necessarily want to follow? What if they were directions that we didn’t completely believe in?
Over the past few years, I’ve encountered many males who openly cheat on their girlfriends. My being a serious person allowed this to frustrate me, as would be the effect on most people. Moreover, many of the males I was interested in were seeking open relationships, so I lost hope for ever developing anything serious. ‘What has humanity become?’ I thought. However, the fact of the matter is that most people are untrustworthy. Does this mean that one should deprive him-/herself of romantic company until s/he finds someone reliable? No. Finding the right person takes time, and one most likely won’t find him/her until s/he’s almost thirty, an age where most people have matured and are looking to commit.
However, that doesn’t mean that one should live a lonely, depressing existence for decades. Maybe we would all fare better if we had fun in our relationships while we were young, and left the analysis for more serious relationships later on in life. We’d be less stressed – one’s having company automatically puts him/her in a better mood, if the company is agreeable of course. Moreover, we’d develop dating experience that would serve us for the better in more serious relationships down the road.
Thus, maybe one should be a little more lenient on the person who betrays him/her… for the time being. If the right person comes along, one should not hesitate to snatch him/her up and have an exclusive relationship. But while one is in romantic limbo, maybe s/he should be less hesitant to accept the idea of a fling or an inclusive relationship.
On the other hand, the aforementioned partnerships have some drawbacks: they require one to have low expectations for his/her partner and to rewire one’s brain so that s/he does not get attached. Therefore, if one believes s/he is incapable of forgiving a straying partner or of not being exclusive with a love interest, then that person should forego the idea altogether. However, we’d all do well to stress less over relationships during our youth, and worry more about betrayals of loyalty in romances that may lead to marriage.
