Your 2012 Resolution: Be a Better Dater

You’re great. You get called “perfect” occasionally. But you know the truth is your dates are overlooking something – or a few. You may use the potential 2012 holds to fix this. Work on your flaws to become the ultimate dater.

First, you must pinpoint your faults. You discover your shortcomings when you think back to criticism others have given you. Think about things your exes, family and friends have said they disliked about you. Think of characteristics you loathe about yourself. But how do you change? Note the following problematic qualities many people face and how to change them:


Anger Issues

You’ve been told you’re too angry. Your instigating nature is dangerous, because it can cause violence. Of course, you may not be violent. When you get into an argument, however, your opponent may be. You, like many people, may think passive aggression is the best way to fix this. If you Google “passive aggression” though, you will discover it is a form of abuse. Note that Cathy Meyer, author of Passive Aggressive Behaviour: A Form of Covert Abuse, says “Passive aggressive[s] can drive people around [them] crazy,” because they communicate ambiguously. When you imply that you are angry, your partner may not understand if you are angry or uninterested, or why you are angry. You may find that the frustration he or she feels results in some form of cruel treatment. Solve your anger issues the best way by being less aggressive and addressing issues with your significant other in a polite tone. Of course, you must not accuse your partner of actions you are unsure he or she committed or create issues that don’t exist.


Trust Issues

Don’t be embarrassed if others have told you you are too jealous. You are just one of many people who experience this problem. Though, making assumptions about your partner’s fidelity will most likely lead to you having a headache and angry outbursts. You may find that the key to controlling your jealousy is not worrying about your partner cheating on you. You may only be certain of your other half cheating if he or she tells you, or if you find mysterious underwear at his or her place. So why not relax unless that happens?


Being Controlling

Controlling your partner is unhealthy. Not only does it suffocate him or her, but it also prevents your sweetie from doing certain things he or she enjoys. If you were in his or her shoes, would you be having fun? To be less controlling, do not give your partner commands. If you ever find concrete evidence that your partner is cheating on you, the best thing to do would be to break up rather than strap a ball-and-chain to his or her foot.


Insecurity

You will most likely annoy your partner when you doubt him or her. Have a little confidence in yourself, and both you and your partner may benefit from greater mental health. To do so, remember the following:

Yes, you will most likely get an answer to your text message. If don’t receive a reply though, your honey is most likely busy. Don’t be jealous if your baby flirts with others more than you. You may learn later that your darling is just being playful. Most importantly, don’t analyze. You will most likely be wrong, because it is easier to be negative than positive.

You may be familiar with the Portuguese proverb: “Change yourself, and fortune will change with you.” You may find it to be true. When you change for the better, you may have healthier, longer-lasting relationships. Thus, you may not wish to procrastinate. Improve, if need be.

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