You receive it – the infamous “hey” after you text your recent date a “hey sweetie.” On the other hand, maybe you receive no response all day. You might be driven crazy by these acts, just some ambiguous behaviours daters display. Don’t fret, though. You may discover that the motives behind these actions aren’t as negative as you may think.
You mustn’t draw conclusions when dating. Your doing so could lead to negative assumptions on your part, which are most likely untrue. You, like most people, probably find it easier to be negative than positive. While on the dating scene though, you should rationalize and think positively. Your doing so could allow you to keep your sanity and perceive situations realistically. Of course, you could possibly be correct by being cynical. But if you are contacted by your crush after a night out, it’s safe to be optimistic.
Note the following behaviours daters commonly misinterpret:
1) The ignored text. Perhaps you text your honey, and he or she doesn’t respond. You need not dissect this situation. Accept that he or she is most likely busy. You may be justified in assuming a lack of interest, however, if he or she doesn’t reply for a week. At the same time, you should not be offended, as your recent date could be busy. In addition, if you and your potential partner recently got into an argument, your admirer is most likely ignoring you until he or she is in a better mood.
2) The missed date. You may be disappointed when your date cancels, doesn’t show up to your proposed destination or doesn’t answer your “are we still on for today?” text. Rather than assume he or she is uninterested or shady, you should consider that he or she may be unreliable. You must also realize that one’s unreliability has nothing to do with you and that he or she is most likely busy. Also, be careful not to assume your date doesn’t have his or her priorities in order, as unreliable people usually have good reasons for cancelling.
3) The lack of affection. You address your love interest by a sweet nickname, to which he or she replies with none for you. You may find it easy to deduce that he or she is uninterested. You will most likely find, however, that this is not the case. In situations like this, you must remember three things:
• A complete stranger you went on a date with will usually not talk to you if he or she is uninterested;
• Withholding affection is a form of passive aggression; and
• Some people do not always reciprocate pet names.
With these points in mind, you can see that the person you’re longing for is most likely angry. Find out the reason he or she is angry, solve it and watch the influx of flirtation. Note also that many shy people will revert to this tactic when they want you to ask them on another date. Bear in mind your love interest is most likely not flirty, if that doesn’t work. You should also consider the possibility your date has a significant other and is contacting you while with him or her.
4) The lack of initiation. Don’t take it personally if your once-proclaimed fan doesn’t initiate conversations with you or ask to see you again. If you receive responses to your texts to him or her, he or she is most likely interested. Thus, in this circumstance, you may discover that your crush is shy or waiting for some sign of interest from you. Start conversations and initiate invites, and you may be rewarded.
5) The forgotten call. Don’t fret if your sweetheart does not call if he or she promised to do so. Know that many people are too forgetful, busy or shy to call. Note that this behaviour is common and has nothing do to with one’s level of interest in you.
You may have heard the saying “It is when we all play safe that we create a world of utmost insecurity,” first said by Dag Hammarskjold. Now that you’ve read the above, you may know this statement to be true. You may also notice that many daters’ behaviours confuse their admirers, who insecurely give up on them. Don’t play it safe in 2012. Escape your comfort zone by responding to perceived problems with security. Await the possible rewards.