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Posts by borisgiller:
Volunteer – By donating your time at a service worthy of helping those less fortunate, you will create an altruistic feeling that your time is worthwhile and appreciated. Not only will volunteering give you a chance to surround yourself with people, you may find solace in the fact that there are so many others who are worse off and feel good knowing you made a difference.- Accept Invitations – Unless you have just moved to a new city, you may have co-workers or friends who invite you to functions, especially if they know that you may be spending the holidays alone. Rather than feeling like an imposition, try to put your best foot forward and attend every chance you can to be in good company with people who do care about you.
Adopt a Pet – Dogs and cats can bring much joy and comfort to someone who is alone. They give you a sense of companionship and will be there for you even when it seems like no one else is.- Join a Group – Especially if you’re in a new city, it may behoove you to search for groups who enjoy doing things you like to do. From salsa dancing to art class and every type of hobby, the chances of finding like-minded people to hang with are even better if you make that first brave step to sign up and put yourself out there.
Meet Someone Online – Even if you’re newly single, it could be fun to seek companionship during the holidays for a fresh new start. You can go on a date with someone or just meet a new friend on a high quality dating site such as eligon.ca; a match service meant for professional singles to meet and mingle. Why spend the holidays alone when at the very least, you can make a new friend or have a romantic time with someone? You never know, it could lead to a blossoming new relationship!
Lonely Holidays? It’s Time to Make New Friends
December 22nd, 20095 tips for singles on coping with the holidays
Whether it’s because you moved to a new city, just went through a recent divorce, or perhaps lost a partner to death or separation; being alone during the holidays can make you feel isolated and downright lonely.
Part of the reason is that the holidays conjure up memories of family celebrating with special dinners, shopping for loved ones and decorating with warm lights and seasonal adornments. There is a certain togetherness that is associated with the holiday season. Commercials portray happy couples and families opening gifts. The holidays are a time for love.
So aside from crying all day and wallowing in a pitcher of alcohol, or succumbing to self-destructive behaviors, what can a person do to avoid the inevitable feeling of loneliness and despair? If this applies to you, here are several productive suggestions:
Whatever you do… don’t mope around, cry or be depressed during the holidays when there are so many opportunities out there to surround yourself with people. Be open to the possibilities of new friendships in your life!
Why Online Dating is a Waste of Time
October 16th, 2009
Most of us have a great difficult time finding that someone to share our lives with. Devoting ourselves to our careers doesn’t leave us any time to waste on bars and clubs. Blind dates rarely lead to anything good, and so we’ve all given online dating a consideration. Online dating in theory is a perfect way to meet someone. It’s cheap, it saves time, you can do it in your pyjamas and even those of us who are shy have a fair chance in the dating arena. However in its current condition, online dating is a complete waste of time, money and energy. And here’s why:
Misrepresentation and Fake profiles
We’ve all heard the horror stories and the clichés of people lying about who they are on dating websites. From married people to con artists to ghost profiles, these sites are full of fake profiles because they focus on membership fees and on quantity instead of quality.
Many sites even intentionally create fake profiles to look busy and to attract unsuspecting singles to their gates where anonymity creates anarchy. Even honest people don’t mind bending the truth when they hide behind a computer screen and a nickname.
Meat Market Atmosphere
Another problem with online dating is the meat market atmosphere that presides there. Most of them (not all) are built in such a way that leads you to scan through thousands of pictures before you get to know anything about the person on the other side. How many potential partners have you missed doing this? Can you read them all? Have you been passed over by your soul mate because you didn’t have a good digital photograph at that moment?
Scanning through thousands of pictures creates a cheap, club like environment. It may be ok for some people but for those of us that are looking for something more than a one night stand it’s a waste of time.
Very Few Relevant Singles
Let’s face it. The kind of person you would ideally like to meet is not found on these dating sites. We’ll assume for a second that you’re a busy executive or a career oriented professional that is educated and established. I’m guessing that like most people you would like to find someone as educated and established as yourself. Online dating sites are full of unemployed, uneducated and uncivilized people. Looking for a likeminded partner on these sites would be like looking for a needle in a haystack, especially when needles stay away from these haystacks.
Privacy Risks and being a target for scams
When you sign up to an online dating service they make you sign a legal agreement, and the very fine print states that they are allowed to use your picture and information for advertising. So your most intimate information and private life could be potentially plastered all over the internet. In fact, most of the big players in the industry will use your picture on their homepage and make your profile searchable by Google. Would you want your clients, co workers, students or secretary stumbling across your profile accidentally? And let’s not forget the infamous Nigerian scam that targets North American singles. There are people whose full time job is to come to an office/internet cafe and try to con unsuspecting romantics out of their hard earned money. And why wouldn’t they do it? Anyone can sign up, dating sites don’t police the registrations and the worst thing that could happen to these con artists is a deletion of their fake profile.
What could the dating industry do to fix all that?
Imagine that online dating websites actually checked that people are who they say they are. If we eliminate anonymity we’ll eliminate anarchy. They could also enforce this by making them legally bound to be honest at the agreement stage. (Better than making singles sell their soul)
We could fix the privacy problem by making profiles private and showing them only to a few carefully selected and pre screened matches. A dating site would also have to devote a larger percentage of it’s income towards security.
How would we solve the needle in a haystack problem? How about, we only let needles in. We’ll make people apply to this hypothetical super site and accept only established and educated people.
How would we solve the meat market problem? One idea is to put more focus on the profile and personality by forcing people to read the profile before they get to the picture and voila no more scanning through pictures, and you’re not just another internet page.
Now it’s all very nice to imagine, but the big dating sites would NEVER shut their doors to a huge portion of the population it just wouldn’t be profitable.
But wait, this article in the national post titled “How to date a stockbroker who drives a jaguar” claims that there is a service like that. A virtual matchmaking for executives, with security features, privacy, who verify people’s identity and are oriented towards serious members.
How can they afford to stay operational? I guess they’ll have to resort to shameless self promotion on internet blogs. 
Men and Women have Conflicting Biological Programming
September 29th, 2009Hello my name is Boris Giller and I’m one of the founders of eligon.ca, an executive dating site. Most of our members are above 30 and so I’ve noticed a phenomenon that at first shocked me. In the beginning we had too many women and not enough men applying to the site. (We fixed it by advertising only to men). Why was I shocked? I am in my late 20’s and my own experiences with the dating world combined with research reflected a different picture. I’ve witnessed a vast majority of guys on public dating sites that were targeted towards 20-30 year old singles. Girls on these sites we’re receiving 20-30 messages a day while most guys didn’t even get one message. So what happens to us after 30 to cause this shift?
The answer is in our biological programming.
A few hundreds of thousands of years ago, being pregnant was significantly more life threatening for a female than today. Because of this vulnerability a woman started developing a need to pre screen men to be insured that she had pair-bonded with a strong male that would protect her and her child.
Males on the other hand are genetically programmed to spread seed and sleep with as many partners as possible since a man’s investment in creating a baby was over after sex.
Since then we have evolved to a society that is not solely guided by its primitive instincts. With the introduction of birth control, sex is not as life threatening to women as it used to be, and men are not mindless seed spreading creatures. Both men and women, however, still have leftovers from their ancestors’ realities to guide their subconscious minds.
Here’s some more ugly truth, and forgive me for the extreme generalization and oversimplification. A man evaluates a woman based on 20% personality and 80% looks, this is a way to measure her health and ability to carry and deliver the offspring. Females on the other hand evaluate a male based on 20% looks and 80% personality. This is their way to measure how “alpha” a man is, and how able will he be to protect and provide for her and her offspring.
This is all very nice to know but how does that explain what’s happening in the dating world?
Well since men in their 20’s are not looking to settle down you can see their biological programming in its most extreme form, they are actively seeking multiple sexual partners under the disguise of a serious relationship. The desired bachelorette (young, attractive) has unlimited options. Even girls who are not consciously looking for a serious relationship are screening hard because of the abundance of options. This creates an imbalance of more men chasing women for the purpose of casual sex while girls are trying to “lock down” an alpha male into a relationship.
Fast forward 10 year into the future.
Men are finally ready to settle down and start a family, women even more so. A large portion of men has already been snatched or settles for “physically healthy” younger women, leaving little of this scarce resource on the market. Women’s biological clock forces them to become the one actively seeking a mate, creating an imbalance in the opposite direction. The desired bachelor (established, educated, fit) is now in great demand and so he has unlimited options to chose from and he begins to see beyond looks and seeks a successful and educated woman such as himself.
Back to Reality
in reality these are just generalizations that help me rationalize a grim situation. In reality many people are aware of their instincts and are driven by their conscious mind when seeking a mate. Some women are actively searching for casual sex while some men are actively searching for a monogamous relationship. We can only be grateful that not all of us are slaves to our genetics and some of us do find that person that wants the same things as we do.
