Posts by Speedygirl:

Is there such thing as “the right time”?

June 3rd, 2011


photo courtesy of: family.wikinut.com

Written by: Natasha Bell

While taking a stroll down memory lane one may realize the mistakes they have made in their past relationships. Many people suspect that they have not met their rightful match, and on the other hand, they are still in love with their ex but would prefer different timing. In many cases, people get back with their ex hoping that they could fix previous problems and improve their relationship, however, perhaps it wasn’t the timing at all. Perhaps it was due to making poor decisions and being too impulsive. Finding love, in my opinion, is something that comes naturally, you won’t hit the jackpot just because it’s your favourite slot machine. In other words, we may have an idea about who fits our eligibility criteria, but it could be mostly based on our past experiences. Because you are used to a particular type does not mean that your type is actually the perfect match for you. Also, being aware of your mistakes in past relationships is important when pursuing a new one. You shouldn’t necessarily point out your mistakes to your new partner because they might expect the same behaviour down the line, but a personal reflection always helps you come out of bad habits. I say timing doesn’t matter, it’s the choices you make that will dictate your relationship, including your choice in a partner. At the beginning of the relationship there are definitely some good and bad qualities that you see in your partner, and if you’ve already fallen for them it’s easy to overlook all the bad ones. Obviously this is toxic and the relationship can end up in a disaster, but in the back of your head, you knew it wasn’t going to work out, yet you went ahead anyway. My advice to someone who cannot make conscious decisions about a partner is have patience; even though falling in love can be exciting, as I stated before, you can be signing up for a membership that you’d like to terminate in less than a year, and at a high cost to you. Therefore, love will come on its own time and while you’re waiting, you may want to enjoy doing things for yourself and spending more time with loved ones.

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The Shallow End

May 7th, 2011

By: Natasha Bell

We are all shallow in some way or another, whether we only date people who hold the same values as we do, or people who look a certain way. On the offence, many people have mentioned that they “cannot help who they are attracted to” but considering the fact that society’s idea of beauty is constructed and learned, people tend to set higher standards for themself, not realizing that oftentimes, they are highly unrealistic.

Dating can be a fun experience filled with laughter and excitement, however, it can also be exhausting and frustrating when you feel you have explored every prospect. Realistically, no one has considered every option that comes their way, given the fact that people usually have a particular “type” of personality they prefer. People also tend to be shallow without knowing that they’ve internalized these unrealistic ideals. For example, many friends of mine who date regularly feel frustrated that they have not found “the one”, but perhaps it hasn’t occurred to them that they have possibly overlooked someone that could have provided everything they want in a partner. I am positive many of you experience those dates where you feel that, generally, everything seems to be going pretty well, then by the third date you suddenly realize that “something is missing”. You probably cannot point out exactly what is wrong with the person you are dating, yet you still feel that something is “off”. Many times people do not consider the fact that they are not giving their new prospect a fair chance, especially when he or she does not fit their typical mold. Often people put up barriers to finding a good partner by pushing them into the “unfavourable” category, even if they have everything else that they were looking for. It’s always, “he’s a really nice guy, he has the best personality”, followed by, “…but he’s short”. When it is not a physical flaw, many people jump to the most common and safe excuse: “I just see him/her as a friend”.  How can you really give someone a chance if you constantly nit-pick at single features of their personality or physique that don’t “match” your preferred type? The answer is, you are not. Perhaps dating someone outside of your high standards is a good start, but either way, you have to accept the fact that no one is perfect and although they may not have a specific thing you are looking for in a partner, they could potentially be the best thing that happened to you.

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Spring Dating

March 30th, 2011

By: Natasha Bell

So it’s officially spring! A popular dating season when people are finding more time to go out and enjoy the beautiful weather. The temperature has been unpredictable throughout March; however, it should not discourage those who want to get back to an outdoor dating routine. During the winter, most of the activities were indoor and mellow due to cold weather, but spring is the time to get up and get out, as theme parks and other outdoor venues begin to open up to the public. Without further ado, here are some do’s and don’ts for spring dating:

 

Do: Give your undivided attention during your date. Sometimes being outdoor can mean being exposed to an array of sites, events and people who can be distracting. It could also be extremely relaxing (like in a patio setting), therefore, you will feel the temptation to start texting or doing things you normally would in the comfort of your home.

 

Don’t: Avoid bringing your work into your leisure time by keeping cell phones off at all times! There is nothing more annoying and frustrating than having your date stare at a text or an incoming call rather than into your eyes on a beautiful outdoor lunch.

 

Do: Travel together to refrain from meeting up at the destination. To avoid your date arriving late to a sports event that you have tickets for or a reservation that you have made with a restaurant, it is better to pick up or meet the person at a halfway point some time before the actual event/date occurs. That way you won’t be stranded selling your tickets in front of Rogers Center or cancelling with the restaurant last minute. Another advantage is the car conversation before the date, where you can get to know your date a little before enjoying the day out with them.

 

Don’t: Spending too much time grooming yourself before your date can result in arriving late. If you are aware of your time issues, try to plan ahead of the date so that you have enough time to get everything done. Whether you have to shave/straighten your hair or apply makeup and press your shirt before leaving, try giving yourself at least an extra hour just to make it on time.

 

Do: Be open to do something spontaneous. Being outdoor can influence a feeling of spontaneity because Toronto is a busy place with lots of exciting things to do. For example, dates nearby Yonge and Dundas can introduce you and your date to an event at Dundas Square. If your date went well, you can stop by to check out the event, thus, spending more time with your person of interest.

 

Don’t: Try not to rush home quickly near the end of your date. This may offend your date and can result in cancelling a possible second or third date. If your date suggests doing something that was not planned, which you do not have time for, simply state that you will take a rain check so that they understand you have other priorities. Do not start putting on your jacket before you and your date agree it is time to leave.

 

There are many other things one should pay attention to while on a date, such as listening attentively, opposed to talking about yourself the whole time. Paying attention to little details while on the date can take you and your date a long way, possibly and hopefully, a long lasting relationship.

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Lakeshore Love-In

March 9th, 2011

Date: March 12, 2011
Time: 02:00 PM to 05:00 PM

All you need is Love! And on Saturday, March 12, 2011 you’ll find it at the Waterfront Trail Artists’ Lakeshore Love-in. Admission is by donation.

Let local artists, artisans, and musicians lovingly entertain you with an art exhibition and jam session. Sample their aphrodisiacs, listen to love stories, or, write one of your own.

This event is a fundraiser/community thank you to all those who have shown their support for the Waterfront Trail Artists over the years.

For more information visit their Facebook page or visit http://www.trailart.org/

Address:
Waterfront Trail Artists Community Art Centre
2979 Lake Shore Boulevard West
8th & 9th streets
Map to this event

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