Of course, it is important for a couple to be financially secure. They don’t want to have children while being in debt from a spur-of-the-moment motorcycle purchase. On the other hand, one does not need a significant other to be loaded to be financially secure.

You may want to consider the following when thinking about your boo’s income:

1) Kids – Do you want kids? If so, do you think your and your partner’s income combined is enough to support the amount of children you want?

2) Accidents – Medical emergencies. Automotive damage. Surprise pregnancies. It’s always useful to have a little more in the piggy bank in case of emergencies.

3) Your combined income. If your combined income is enough to live off of, you should be fine.

4) Age. If you and your sweetie have just graduated university, there is no need to take income seriously. There are, of course, other ways of estimating whether or not you will be financially secure. Things to consider are: her level of ambition, grades and what kind of job she has now. If she’s 32, though, income is definitely something to think about.

It is not necessary to make a partner’s low income a dealbreaker. It is possible to survive without a large income from one party. Besides, what truly matters is personality. If you’ve got a one-of-kind partner, it may take years to meet someone like that again.

While this is a possibility, this is most likely not what’s happening. Some other explanations are:

• The girl is desperate. Many girls enjoy attention and will take it from anyone. She may not find a dating prospect appealing but will date him anyway.

• The girl is deep. Yes, pretty girls have hearts too. The woman may not be attracted to a suitor but finds his qualities admirable.

• The girl is using him for sex. This is another rare possibility, but it happens. The girl has no other options for a physical encounter, so she chooses whoever she can get.

While there are many reasons a pretty girl would consider an ugly guy for love, the most common is that she enjoys his company. After all, no one wants to be around someone they can’t stand. Besides, if they were, there might be signs of it.

An anonymous person once said, “You don’t love someone for their looks or their clothes or their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” This is usually the case. It is common for teenagers to base relationships on looks, but most adults are looking for someone who fulfills them. It would be unfair to say pretty girls don’t want happiness too.

Although it is difficult to tell when a date is leading you on, there are signs. Consider the following the next time you’re unsure of your date’s intentions:

• Beware of people who ask you to hang out the same day. Usually when people ask you to hang out the same day you met, they just want sex. These daters don’t care about establishing a connection before a date.

• Beware of people who seem distant. If your recent date contacts you every few days when she used to contact you every day, she most likely wants you to be her friend with benefits.

• Beware especially of someone who contacts you only to ask what you’re doing. A friend with benefits won’t make small talk with you unless it’s in person.

• Beware of people who sext. If your crush texts you dirty talk rather than affection, she most likely only wants a physical relationship.

• Beware of anyone who suggests sex after 1-3 dates. Some scumbags are more straightforward and try to get you naked right away. Others think you’re classy and put on a nice act for a few dates before they grope you. Sex before a relationship seems to be the norm these days, so this is something to be skeptical rather than cynical about.

• Beware of someone who won’t tell you what she’s looking for. This question may seem like a godsend to some daters. On the other hand, if someone refuses to answer that question or gives you roundabout answers, she is most likely looking for a friend with benefits.

Sometimes one can’t tell if she is being used or not. In these cases, a dater usually mixes affection with sexuality. What one could do here is to listen to one’s gut reaction or one’s heart. That is not to say one won’t get hurt, but it may just be an enjoyable experience. Alternatively, one could date someone new and not put out until after the relationship has begun. If one has a friend with benefits who is sometimes flirty, he could choose to not to believe the affectionate lay unless she reveals she’s interested in a relationship. Thomas Jefferson once said, “Do not bite at the bait of pleasure, till you know there is no hook beneath it.” This is the most careful way to go.

There are ways to be a desirable dater without breaking your pockets. If the money issue is one you have often pondered, consider the following on your next date:

Paying for your portion of the check will not make you look like a jerk. In most cases, you will get subsequent dates if you pay half the bill. If your crush is turned off by this, though, she is most likely not your type. Only gold diggers don’t understand fairness.

If you can afford it and want to make a good impression, pay the full bill. This doesn’t mean you have to pay every time you two go out. It would be unfair if this was the only of many dinners you paid for, though. Partners or potential partners should be fair with one another.

If you are strapped for bucks, say so. This allows the two of you to come up with a more affordable date idea or she may suggest paying for you. It would be best to announce your financial situation before the date, of course. That way, she’s not surprised at the end of the date, with no money or plastic in her pockets. Alternatively, you could agree to pay for one date while she pays for the next.

Writer and philosopher Ayn Rand said, “Money is the barometer of a society’s virtue.” It’s true. Many people judge you when there’s money involved, especially on dates. It possible to keep your squeaky clean reputation without going broke, though. All it comes down to is common courtesy.

Workplace romances don’t have to ruin your reputation. They can have severe psychological effects, though. On the bright side, there are ways to control the effects of dating a colleague. The following are things to keep in mind when pursuing a co-worker:

1) You could get into trouble. Be sure to look up your company’s rules concerning interoffice dating. Some workplaces allow it, while others do not. And if you have a good job, you may not want to lose it just to date someone.

2) You could earn a name for yourself. Even if dating is permitted at your company, your fellow colleagues may gossip about you. This may be especially true for jealous coworkers. If you’re strong enough to handle it, it may be worth it, though.

3) You might not be able to focus on work. You may be nervous. You may have gotten into a disagreement with your partner. You may have found her flirting with half the office. These are some reasons you could make mistakes at work due to your love interest being there. If you manage to think about only work at work, you may be fine, though.

4) Your boss might not take you seriously. If you keep to yourself, your boss might not take you seriously. She may only be able to judge you on what she sees, and, respectively, might take you for the office floozy. If you are confident and hardworking, your manager(s) might be able to look past this, though.

Office romances are taboo. If you go about them the right way, though, they may just work. Of course, one shouldn’t violate workplace policy. On the other hand, in Tips About Dating, Sex and Romance at Work, Susan Heathfield says A Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) Workplace Romance Survey showed nearly all businesses surveyed do not have written rules regarding dating at work. In the words of Maya Angelou, famous author and poet, “Nothing will work unless you do.”

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Talking about money with your significant other doesn’t have to result in a death match. In fact, it can be a quite civil and comfortable conversation if you choose the right timing. The following are things to consider when discussing finances with your sweetie:

1) Wait until you know the relationship is serious. This could be 6 months in, 1 year in, 1.5 years in… Whenever you feel you both know the relationship is serious, it’s appropriate to ask the money questions. You might want to wait until the relationship has been serious for a while, though. Otherwise, you could scare off your partner.

On the other hand, you could wait until you’re engaged. This option may be best in relationships where bringing up money seems inappropriate earlier. While engaged, it only seems natural that you’d be concerned about your and your sweetie’s future. You have months to compromise or call the whole thing off, at this point.

2) Be diplomatic. The most important thing to remember when having a conversation like this is to be tactful. Of course, you don’t want to accuse your partner of being lazy or irresponsible. In saying so, you could start an argument or be wrong. Similarly, you don’t want to say things like “I need you to work so we can afford your high-maintenance ways.” Being sensitive and respectful will help the conversation go smoothly and your partner to cooperate.

3) Explain why you need to have this talk. If you really want to avoid awkwardness, you should add why you wanted to discuss finances with your sweetie. It would be best to bring up reasons concerning the well-being of both of you. That way, it doesn’t look like you’re looking for a sugar daddy – but if you are, it’s better to be honest about it.

Alternatively, you could…

Take the natural route. I call this “the fun way.” You can usually gauge if you and your partner will be able to afford the necessities of life by observing her personality. If your honey is ambitious, educated and smart, she will most likely have a successful – and prosperous – career. Similarly, if she has a good job now, she is probably capable of getting well-to-do jobs in the future.

There is no need to worry about your money conversation(s) with your partner being awkward. It is only natural for you to be concerned about her napping all day while you work overtime. But, with the right amount of time, you may feel comfortable bringing up the topic. As renowned writer Lady Dorothy Nevill once said, “The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but [also] to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”

This is the sound of your heart sinking when you realize Valentine’s Day is near. Rather than brooding over your single status this Valentine’s Day, make it your favourite day of the year. You don’t have to be alone this V-day just because you’re single. It may be time to approach a special person – or maybe just an interesting one.

So you’re shy. So what? Most people are. But shyness won’t get you anywhere. If you want to stop crying over who you don’t have, you must cross your comfort territory. And if doing so makes this person someone you could have, it’s worth a little fear, right?

You may find the following tips useful when making your interest known to a certain person:

• Ensure the timing is appropriate. If you like someone and want to make it known, make sure it is not too soon. If you hardly know the person, there is a higher chance of him or her saying no to being your significant other. Of course, everyone gets to know each other at different speeds. Some may find it appropriate to ask someone out after 1-3 months of talking, while others wait six months to a year. If it is too early to ask your love interest to be yours, make Valentine’s Day fun in other ways: spend it with friends, have a chocolate feast or ask the person you admire to spend the day together.

• Follow the person’s affection style. Some people hint at their interest while others are more open. If you say “Hey baby, wanna go on a date?” to a subtle flirter, he or she is likely to say no. And if you hint you want to spend some romantic V-day time with an affectionate person, this person probably won’t understand you. On the other hand, it won’t ruin your chances with a subtle person to ask him or her to hang out on Valentine’s Day. Just be careful not to refer to it as a date.

• Try not to refer to it as a formal occasion. Doing so could make things serious too soon, scaring off your crush. When you do decide to celebrate, gifts are optional. If you’ve known the person for at least a month, it may be appropriate to present him or her a box of chocolates. But if this is someone you picked up at a club last weekend, your splurging for the night out will do. If you feel guilt-ridden by not showing up with a gift, a single rose or a trio of chocolates will suffice. Note that many chocolates, such as Ferrero Rocher and Lindt, come in packages of three.

Walt Disney said, “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” It’s true. Sulking in your room won’t get you a date with a model or an entrepreneur or the world’s cuddliest sidekick. Think of it this way: revealing your heart’s thoughts increases your chances of being less lonely, at least for Valentine ’s Day. And if you do get turned down, you can use Valentine ’s Day as a reason to indulge in chocolates and watch side-splitting romantic comedies. Good luck to all!

You mustn’t draw conclusions when dating. Your doing so could lead to negative assumptions on your part, which are most likely untrue. You, like most people, probably find it easier to be negative than positive. While on the dating scene though, you should rationalize and think positively. Your doing so could allow you to keep your sanity and perceive situations realistically. Of course, you could possibly be correct by being cynical. But if you are contacted by your crush after a night out, it’s safe to be optimistic.

Note the following behaviours daters commonly misinterpret:

1) The ignored text. Perhaps you text your honey, and he or she doesn’t respond. You need not dissect this situation. Accept that he or she is most likely busy. You may be justified in assuming a lack of interest, however, if he or she doesn’t reply for a week. At the same time, you should not be offended, as your recent date could be busy. In addition, if you and your potential partner recently got into an argument, your admirer is most likely ignoring you until he or she is in a better mood.

2) The missed date. You may be disappointed when your date cancels, doesn’t show up to your proposed destination or doesn’t answer your “are we still on for today?” text. Rather than assume he or she is uninterested or shady, you should consider that he or she may be unreliable. You must also realize that one’s unreliability has nothing to do with you and that he or she is most likely busy. Also, be careful not to assume your date doesn’t have his or her priorities in order, as unreliable people usually have good reasons for cancelling.

3) The lack of affection. You address your love interest by a sweet nickname, to which he or she replies with none for you. You may find it easy to deduce that he or she is uninterested. You will most likely find, however, that this is not the case. In situations like this, you must remember three things:

• A complete stranger you went on a date with will usually not talk to you if he or she is uninterested;
• Withholding affection is a form of passive aggression; and
• Some people do not always reciprocate pet names.

With these points in mind, you can see that the person you’re longing for is most likely angry. Find out the reason he or she is angry, solve it and watch the influx of flirtation. Note also that many shy people will revert to this tactic when they want you to ask them on another date. Bear in mind your love interest is most likely not flirty, if that doesn’t work. You should also consider the possibility your date has a significant other and is contacting you while with him or her.

4) The lack of initiation. Don’t take it personally if your once-proclaimed fan doesn’t initiate conversations with you or ask to see you again. If you receive responses to your texts to him or her, he or she is most likely interested. Thus, in this circumstance, you may discover that your crush is shy or waiting for some sign of interest from you. Start conversations and initiate invites, and you may be rewarded.

5) The forgotten call. Don’t fret if your sweetheart does not call if he or she promised to do so. Know that many people are too forgetful, busy or shy to call. Note that this behaviour is common and has nothing do to with one’s level of interest in you.

You may have heard the saying “It is when we all play safe that we create a world of utmost insecurity,” first said by Dag Hammarskjold. Now that you’ve read the above, you may know this statement to be true. You may also notice that many daters’ behaviours confuse their admirers, who insecurely give up on them. Don’t play it safe in 2012. Escape your comfort zone by responding to perceived problems with security. Await the possible rewards.

First, you must pinpoint your faults. You discover your shortcomings when you think back to criticism others have given you. Think about things your exes, family and friends have said they disliked about you. Think of characteristics you loathe about yourself. But how do you change? Note the following problematic qualities many people face and how to change them:

Anger Issues

You’ve been told you’re too angry. Your instigating nature is dangerous, because it can cause violence. Of course, you may not be violent. When you get into an argument, however, your opponent may be. You, like many people, may think passive aggression is the best way to fix this. If you Google “passive aggression” though, you will discover it is a form of abuse. Note that Cathy Meyer, author of Passive Aggressive Behaviour: A Form of Covert Abuse, says “Passive aggressive[s] can drive people around [them] crazy,” because they communicate ambiguously. When you imply that you are angry, your partner may not understand if you are angry or uninterested, or why you are angry. You may find that the frustration he or she feels results in some form of cruel treatment. Solve your anger issues the best way by being less aggressive and addressing issues with your significant other in a polite tone. Of course, you must not accuse your partner of actions you are unsure he or she committed or create issues that don’t exist.

Trust Issues

Don’t be embarrassed if others have told you you are too jealous. You are just one of many people who experience this problem. Though, making assumptions about your partner’s fidelity will most likely lead to you having a headache and angry outbursts. You may find that the key to controlling your jealousy is not worrying about your partner cheating on you. You may only be certain of your other half cheating if he or she tells you, or if you find mysterious underwear at his or her place. So why not relax unless that happens?

Being Controlling

Controlling your partner is unhealthy. Not only does it suffocate him or her, but it also prevents your sweetie from doing certain things he or she enjoys. If you were in his or her shoes, would you be having fun? To be less controlling, do not give your partner commands. If you ever find concrete evidence that your partner is cheating on you, the best thing to do would be to break up rather than strap a ball-and-chain to his or her foot.

Insecurity

You will most likely annoy your partner when you doubt him or her. Have a little confidence in yourself, and both you and your partner may benefit from greater mental health. To do so, remember the following:

Yes, you will most likely get an answer to your text message. If don’t receive a reply though, your honey is most likely busy. Don’t be jealous if your baby flirts with others more than you. You may learn later that your darling is just being playful. Most importantly, don’t analyze. You will most likely be wrong, because it is easier to be negative than positive.

You may be familiar with the Portuguese proverb: “Change yourself, and fortune will change with you.” You may find it to be true. When you change for the better, you may have healthier, longer-lasting relationships. Thus, you may not wish to procrastinate. Improve, if need be.